


i'm in the passenger seat (you're in control)

by badbavarois



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: 5+1 Things, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Found Family, M/M, Post-Canon, neil is a trainwreck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-05-16 16:37:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14814981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badbavarois/pseuds/badbavarois
Summary: “Remember,” he says, “when you told us you didn’t smoke.”It’s not a question, and Neil doesn’t respond.“142%. You always were a liar.”





	i'm in the passenger seat (you're in control)

**Author's Note:**

> title from scary love by the neighborhood,,,, their new album is So Good i cry  
> anyway i'm working on a long fic and wanted to work out andreil's dynamic/characterization and also wanted to do something fun bc all i've been doing lately is reading raven!neil fic  
> also i just wanted to make fun of jack soooooooooooooooooooo i hope you enjoy!!!

i.

 

Andrew is smoking, curled up on his desk, when Neil wakes up, his side of the top bunk cold. 

 

The window is open, leaving the air smelling of winter and the cold and burnt tobacco. He doesn’t know what time it is, but there’s a car alarm going off in the distance - quiet enough to not have been what woke him up, loud enough to make it hard to fall back asleep. 

 

In the back of his mind, there’s a half-formed thought that makes his heart trip - Riko could have - 

 

Andrew glances over his shoulder, eyes dark and hair bright in the moonlight, before turning back. He exhales, and the smoke catches in the light, thin and pale.

 

Riko’s dead. Has been, for a year. The Ravens are in shambles, barely winning more games than they lose. Neil is a fox, vice-captain now and captain once Dan graduates in May, will be for three more years. After that, he’ll follow Andrew to whatever pro team recruited him. If he doesn’t make a professional team, Ichiro will cut his losses.

 

Riko is dead. It’s just hard to remember, sometimes. 

 

Neil climbs down the ladder, careful to not wake Nicky - or Kevin, who will demand more practice and somehow be even worse when morning comes around - and makes his way to the window, toes curling into the carpet. He stands behind Andrew, close enough to touch. The edge of the desk digs into his hip. A few seconds later, Andrew leans back, holds the cigarette high enough that Neil can take a slow drag. 

 

Andrew’s back is warm, a steady weight against Neil’s chest. “Remember,” he says, “when you told us you didn’t smoke.”

 

It’s not a question, and Neil doesn’t respond. 

 

“142%.” He takes a final drag, the cherry glowing red for a few seconds, before stubbing it out in the ashtray. One day, Neil thinks, it’s either going to fall or one of them is going to throw it out the window. “You always were a liar.”

 

“You keep saying that.”

  
  


ii.

 

They win the first game of the championship season, against Breckenridge. 

 

The ride back to campus is loud, Dan and Aaron yelling back and forth across the bus planning a party with the Vixens. Nicky’s on the phone with Erik three seats from the back. He’s quiet - quieter than Dan and Aaron at least, but Neil catches more snatches of German than he would prefer. 

 

He leans against Andrew. He can barely keep his eyes open as he asks, “Party or dorm?”

 

He can feel Andrew’s hand on the back of his neck, squeezing for half of a second before his fingers move to comb through his hair, tug at the snarls left by the shower. 

 

“What do you think?”

 

“I thought you liked Katelyn and the Vixens.” He smiles when Andrew squeezes his neck again. “Or Allison. She’s graduating soon. She’ll miss you.”

 

“You’re even more of an idiot if you think Allison is ever going to leave,” he says. A few seconds later, he adds, “She made too much money off of you.”

 

“Both of us.” Neil smiles, burrows further into Andrew’s side. He’s barely conscious at this point, and that used to scare him - being so close to someone, completely defenseless. It still scares him, just not with Andrew. “Half of the bets were about if we were together and when we would finally admit it.”

 

“I’m only dating you for free breakfast.”

 

Neil nods, half in agreement, half to pull Andrew closer. Andrew keeps playing with his hair, nails trailing along his scalp, until he falls asleep. 

  
  


iii.

 

They’re not playing the next week, but with Binghamton their second opponent before the first round of dead matches, Kevin doesn’t let anyone so much as breathe. 

 

“Does no one remember what happened last year?” Kevin asks during one of the breaks. He’s doing a weird half frown/half pout thing and Neil would have made fun of him if he hadn’t still been holding his racket and wasn’t ten inches taller. “We barely won the game, and afterward - “

 

“It would be hard not to,” Nicky says from the other end of the bench, where he was talking strategy with Matt. “I’m pretty sure that Andrew freak out would be hard to forget.” 

 

Jack, one of the first years and definitely someone Neil doesn’t leave Andrew around alone, doesn’t even trust himself around when he’s alone, perks up. “What happened last year?”

Allison starts to smile. “Remember the  _ Miu Miu _ sunglasses - “

 

Renee elbows her in the stomach before Neil has to hold Andrew back. Her smile is as warm as always, but enough of the team knows who she was before Stephanie adopted her that they back off. “I agree with Kevin. We should return to practice. This is an important game, after all.” 

 

Later, after Wymack gets sick of them chatting and wasting money on electricity when they could be practicing like the nationally ranked team they are and the rest of the team files onto the court to scrimmage, Andrew holds Neil back. 

 

He holds Neil by the grating of his helmet, fingers wrapped around the bars, and pulls him down until their foreheads are touching. 

 

“They’re dead,” he says, “Nathan and Riko. The only person left to hurt you is yourself.”

 

“I’m not - “

 

Andrew clicks his tongue. “163%. Don’t bullshit me. You won, Neil. It’s time to stop letting them drag you down.”

 

“Get your ass on the court!” Kevin yells, muffled by the plexiglass.

 

Andrew flips him off with the hand not holding Neil before finally pulling away. “Go play before Kevin has a hernia.”

 

Neil smiles. “I thought you wanted that.”

 

The corner of Andrew’s mouth curves the slightest bit. “He’s useful right now. Once the freshmen can play, I might take you up on that.”

  
  


iv.

 

The Binghamton game is the Friday before spring break starts, so after, the two of them drive down to Columbia for a few days. It’s been months since the last time since they were there alone, and it’s weird for the house to be so quiet, with Nicky flying out to Germany in the morning, and Aaron staying at PSU with Katelyn while Kevin runs Raven drills with the few freshmen staying on campus during the break. 

 

They put away groceries together - ice cream for Andrew, and eggs and bacon for breakfast. Later, they curl up on the couch, a random channel playing on the TV while they drink and makeout. It’s quiet, different, but not bad. 

 

But at the same time, it gives Neil too much time to think. 

 

They haven’t talked about their deal, not really, since Neil spent Christmas at Evermore and Andrew in Easthaven. Realistically, they don’t need it anymore, with Riko not a threat and Uncle Stuart there to stop Ichiro and the rest of the Moriyamas from overstepping. He doesn’t - he doesn’t want Andrew to feel trapped there by some deal he fulfilled his end of. 

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“I’m - “

 

Andrew catches Neil’s wrist and squeezes. “162%. What’s wrong?”

 

Neil swallows and looks everywhere except Andrew’s face. He settles on the empty pint, soft with condensation. The remaining ice cream is melted, puddling on the bottom. 

 

Andrew squeezes again. “Neil.”

 

“Why are you still here?” he ends up saying. 

 

Andrew frowns, but doesn’t say anything.

 

“The deal ended. You protected me from Riko, you protected Kevin, you did everything you were supposed to do. You don’t have to...“ He gestures to himself, not sure how to convey what he's thinking. “You don’t have to be here anymore.”

 

“You’re so stupid.”

 

Neil jerks back, would have fallen out of Andrew’s lap if he hadn’t caught him. “What are you talking about?"

 

“Have you ever considered that I want to be here?” Andrew asks. “This wouldn’t be a thing if I didn’t want it to be. No matter what the deal was, I would have gutted you and left you for dead if you were anyone else and touched me like that.”

 

Neil swallows. “So what about the deal?”

 

“Fuck the deal,” he spits out, and then, softer, “Yes or no?”

 

There’s only ever been one answer for that, even if Andrew would listen to him either way - “Yes.”

  
  


v.

 

They play against Penn State in semifinals, with USC and Edgar Allen in the other bracket. 

 

“Do you think Kevin will release he’s in love with Knox this year?” Nicky asks while they’re stretching out in the lounge. 

 

“Either during finals or when they end up on a team together in the professional league,” Neil replies. His knee is a little sore, but it shouldn’t be a problem in the game. 

 

Nicky frowns at Neil. “But that’s so  _ long,”  _ he whines until Aaron chucks a glove at him. “What? You know I’m right.”

 

“Not everyone is gay like you,” Aaron spits out. “Besides, Kevin wouldn’t jeopardize his career like that.”

 

“With Riko dead, nothing can hurt his career. It’s not like the Moriyama’s are hiding another golden boy somewhere.” Neil stands to shake out his leg. “Besides, he slept in a USC jersey last night and has a picture of him and Jeremy as his lock screen.”

 

Nicky cheers. “You’re losing this one, Aaron.”

 

Later, during halftime, they’re three points up and Neil is messing with Andrew’s fingers. He doesn’t have the same safety net that Kevin does, the same benefits that come with being Kayleigh Day’s son. Being with Andrew could get him, both of them, killed. 

 

Even still - “If we win finals, I want to kiss you in front of everyone,” he says in Russian, whispers it even if the rest of the team can’t understand it.

 

Andrew looks at him, face blank and unreadable. “Okay,” he says, like it’s that simple. And in the end, it is.

 

\+ i.

 

The Trojans play hard.

 

Even if they’re nothing like the Ravens - they win the Day Award every year for a reason - they’re strong, and driven, a machine in no sign of stopping. Neil knows that they only beat them last season because USC cut down their lineup, and that even if their chances of winning again this season were nill, the Foxes were stronger, too.

 

During warm-ups, Neil watches Jean. He still doesn’t fit in completely with his new team, is too pale for the red and gold uniforms, backs out of hugs and slaps on the back with teammates, but Neil can make out the slightest smile, something that was never there in the Nest. He’s better, with Riko gone. They all are.

 

Dan wins the first serve, and as they settle on the court, Jean comes to stand a few feet away. 

 

“Ready to play again?” Neil calls. Jean’s returning smile tells him all he needs to know - not all of the Ravens’ tricks have left him yet. 

 

As soon as Allison serves the ball to Andrew, Neil is running toward the Trojans’ goal. He glances back only once before he catches the ball, takes ten steps before throwing it to Kevin. Jean is close to him the entire time, but never touches him - Neil doesn’t know if it’s because he doesn’t trust himself, or if he’s struggling to adapt USC’s style. 

 

Ten minutes in, Kevin scores. Every other striker seems to take that as a signal to go all in - the score is nine-eight, Foxes leading, when halftime starts and Neil is exhausted, but there’s nowhere he would rather be.

 

“There are less yellow cards than I expected,” Wymack says, glaring at the Jack and Sheena, once they make it to the locker room. “But it’s still too many. You might as well be handing points to them. You can’t keep expecting Renee and Andrew to clean up your messes.”

 

After that, he tells them the strategy for the second half, that he’s switching Renee for Andrew to keep their lead, that the strikers need to keep fighting for goals. 

 

By the time they’re back on the court, Neil is shaking to play. He wraps his fingers around the grip of his racket, watches the USC dealer throw the ball up to serve, and breathes. 

 

By the time the clock hits zero, he can barely stand. His calves are burning, his grip on his racket is weak. He’s exhausted, bone-deep, but they won. He tugs his helmet off and turns to face the Foxes’ goal, but Andrew is already there. His own helmet is tucked under his arm, but he lets it fall as he grabs Neil by the forearms and pulls him into a bruising kiss.

 

Neil gasps into it, falling into Andrew’s arms. Everything zooms into that one moment, the weight of the kiss and the pressure of Andrew’s fingers on his hips, until the screams of fans are as distant as the ocean. Until it’s just them. 

 

Even once they stop kissing, Neil stays in his arms, breathing in the scent of sweat and deodorant and the team’s laundry detergent. 

 

“We won,” he tells Andrew, smiling until his cheeks hurt. “We won.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!! comments/kudos are appreciated, requests are open since i'm out of school, but like always, they're not guaranteed.  
> tumblr - shuos-jedao/claude-lit  
> twitter - saphhojpg


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